A Brother's Complex
by N.V.9
Summary: Being an older brother is great or so Itachi thinks, until Sasuke decides he wants to marry everyone.


**Look toward profile/bio for disclaimer and anything else involving this story.**

Itachi loved being an older brother. It was one of the best feelings in the world to know that someone counted on him or to know that he was role model that had to set a good example. The day he found out he was going to be a big brother, he couldn't stop grinning and shouting in joy. He had told everyone he knew, and those he didn't, that his mom was going to have a kid and he wouldn't be an only child. At six having a baby brother or sister was one of the best things in life.

Now that he thought back on his innocent display, he felt slightly embarrassed but even that didn't stop the joy from being an older brother.

Sasuke was one of the best kid brothers out there. He was innocent and happy all the time and loved everybody. He wanted to be like his big brother, which made Itachi fill up with pride, and he was perfect. Itachi couldn't have been more proud to call Sasuke his little brother.

He would do anything for his little brother. He'd die for him. Read to him. Watch the most lamest kids show for him. Heck he even ate cat food for him.

But in all of his life as a big brother, he'd never imagine the day his brother become obsessed with one thing in life. There was always one phrase that kind of scared the crap out of Itachi and made him have to think on his toes with each time it was asked. A simple phrase with five little words that made Itachi wonder where his brother had even heard such a thing at such a young age.

You see it started when Sasuke was four. It was his first day of headstart and Itachi was going to pick him up from school...

X~x~X

Where was he? Itachi wondered for the third time as he looked around at other children leaving with their own parents. When worry and panic began to invade his senses, he spotted Sasuke walking hand in hand with another little boy.

Thinking nothing of it, he waited for his little brother and his new found friend to come to him.

"Itachi!" Sasuke shouted running over to him. "Itachi guess what!"

"What Sasuke?" he asked when his brother stood before him with the little boy who was now poking his nose. Trying not to gag at the sight, Itachi focus his attention back on Sasuke.

"We're going to get married!" Sasuke said with the biggest grin on his face, going from one ear to the other.

"You're what?" Itachi blinked unsure if he heard right. Surely Sasuke did not just-  
"We're going to get married!"

"Married? Sasuke? What?"

"Can you marry us?"

"What?"

"Can you?"

"I'm sorry Sasuke," Itachi shook his head.

"But Kiba and I want to get married! Don't we Kiba?"

"Yeah," Kiba nodded now looking as if he was going to eat the booger. Oh gross, Itachi thought and tried not puke when the little boy did the one thing he prayed he never did as a child.

"Can you marry us?"

"No," Itachi shook his head again, wishing to run away.

"Why not?" Sasuke pouted sadly. "If you love eachother you have to get married!"

"Sasuke you barely know Kiba," Itachi answered.

"But we love eachother!" Sasuke shouted as Kiba nodded and dug right back into his nose. "How come you can't marry us?"

"Because... It's illegal to marry people on days that end with 'Y'." Itachi answered. "I could get time-out for the rest of my life if I marry you."

"Oh," Sasuke looked at Kiba with a thoughtful look, "What day doesn't end with 'Y'?"

"The day that is very far, far, far away from today." Itachi anwered with a mental pat on his back.

"Okay. I guess we can't get married Kiba." releasing Kiba's hand, Sasuke took Itachi's and said good-bye to his friend.

X~x~X

Kiba and Sasuke never asked to get married again and last Itachi knew the nose picker was now going to school to be a vet and planning a wedding to his new love, Shikamaru.

The second time it happened Itachi remembered sitting on the couch watching his favorite show when Sasuke, now seven, came inside with their next door neighbor...

X~x~X

"Itachi!" Sasuke shouted as he came in through the back door. "Itachi where are you!"

"In the living room!" he shouted back, his eyes refusing to leave the epic fight happening before him.

"Itachi, can I tell you something?" Sasuke asked as he stood blocking the tv with Suigetsu right beside him.

"Sure," Itachi nodded trying to see around his brother.

"We're going to get married!" Sasuke grinned as Suigetsu nodded quickly.

"You're what?" Itachi blinked in shock as the scene of a then four year old Sasuke said the same thing replayed in his mind.

"Can you marry us?" Sasuke asked hopefully.

"No," Itachi answered.

"Why not?" Sasuke pouted. "We love eachother."

"That's what you said about Kiba."

"Yeah but Kiba said he loved his dog more then me." Sasuke reminded him. Itachi hid a grin that wanted to appear. Kiba, gotta love that kid. "But Suigetsu said he loves me, right Suigetsu?"

"Yep," the little boy grinned proudly. "Can you marry us?"

"I can't." Itachi said.

"Why?" both boys asked deflating.

"Because they made a new rule that says you can't get married if...you can't drive a car." Itachi said trying to look as disappointed as them.

"I can ride a bike," Suigetsu offered.  
"It needs to be a car." Itachi sighed, standing up and steering him toward the back door. "It's the rules and I gotta follow them." with that he pushed Suigetsu outside and shut the door. Locking it to be on the safe side, he turned to find Sasuke watching him.

"How do I drive a car?"

"I'll tell you when you're older." Itachi answered as he took off upstairs.

X~x~X

Suigetsu later moved away so Itachi wasn't sure what became of him. Sasuke didn't seem to care either way of losing the second love of his life and Itachi didn't even feel guilty for locking a little kid out of his house.

The third time it happened, Itachi was reading a book in the back yard when, a now nine year old, Sasuke came flying at him...

X~x~X

"Itachi!"

"Ompf!" Itachi gasped at the added weight. "Sasuke!"

"You wanna know something?" Sasuke asked sitting on top of him.

"Always," Itachi grinned as he sat up, spotting Sasuke's newest friend, Gaara.  
"We're going to get married!"

"Not again," Itachi whispered.

"What?" Sasuke frowned, not hearing him.

"I said, why are you getting married?" Itachi tried not to panic. Not that there was anything wrong with Gaara, but for a nine year old, he was kind of freaky. Itachi was man enough to say that he'd freak out if he woke up with Gaara looking down at him. He'd even admit to screaming like a girl.

"Because we're in love," Gaara answered in his monotone voice.

"Oh," Itachi said unable to say anything else.

"So can you marry us?" Sasuke asked with wide begging eyes.

"Nope," Itachi shook his head, depositing his brother on the ground as he stood up and grabbed his book. "Can't do it."

"How come?" Sasuke frowned in disappointment.

"Because I already married someone today and I can only marry one couple a day."

"Oh, can you marry us tomorrow?" Sasuke asked.  
"Nope, I'm booked for the next year." Itachi shrugged as he headed inside with both boys on his heels.

"What about after the year is over?" Sasuke went on, blocking his path.

"Can't," Itachi sighed and shook his head, "I made a vow to not marry anyone after the year was up."

"Oh," Sasuke pouted, "I guess we can stay friends Gaara."

"Okay," Gaara answered and walked off.

X~x~X

Years later Gaara had thanked him for not marrying them. When Itachi had asked why, he had said, "Can you imagine being married to Sasuke?" the look on Gaara's face was priceless. Itachi may have loved his brother to death but Gaara had a point. Sasuke was something else.

The fourth time it happened, Itachi had been cleaning his car. Sasuke, now eleven, had come up to him with a boy he didn't even know...

X~x~X

Humming along with the song playing on his radio, he failed to hear Sasuke calling his name. It took his radio being turned off for him to realize his brother was wanting his attention.

"Did you need something Sasuke?" he asked as he dumped the sponge into the bucket.

"I have to tell you something," Sasuke grinned and turned to look at the kid next to him.

"Okay," Itachi said, "what did you need to tell me?"

"We're going to get married!" Sasuke said, throwing Itachi back into the past.

Oh god, "You can't get married," Itachi said already coming up with a reason why.

"Why not?" Sasuke demanded with his hands on his hips.

"Because I don't even know the kid," Itachi said wondering why it was him and not their parents that kept trying to stop Sasuke from getting married.

"Oh, this is Neji. He's in my grade and we're best friends." Sasuke said quickly. "So-"

"And how does he plan to support you?" Itachi asked.

"I have an allowance." Neji answered calmly.

"I see," Itachi nodded, "Where do you plan to live?"

"My house," both of them said at the same time and then glared at eachother.

"We said we were going to live at my house," Sasuke stated.

"I like my room." Neji answered.

"My room is better."

"My room has a tv."

"My room has a computer."

"My room has bunkbeds."

"I don't want to marry you anymore." Sasuke glared and took off. Itachi watched with a small smirk in place as Neji rolled his eyes and went home.

X~x~X

Weirdly enough, Neji had somehow ended up with Gaara. Itachi wasn't sure how they decided they were now in love, but he was happy for them.

Neji had been the last almost wedding that Itachi had stopped. After that one, Sasuke seemed to stop asking people to marry him. Which was good because, truthfully, Itachi couldn't think of other reasons to why he couldn't marry Sasuke off.

Turning to look at his watch and back up, Itachi glacned at the screen displaying the flight times. His brother was almost here. He had missed Sasuke while he was away at college. He couldn't believe Sasuke was already twenty-one and coming home for spring break. It was like their roles had been reversed where instead Sasuke and their parents waiting for him to come back, Itachi stood by himself as his parents got the 'weclome back' party ready for Sasuke.

Turning at the sound of people coming his way, Itachi spotted Sasuke right away. His brother was as tall as he was now and the same body type as well. He didn't want to brag, but both he and Sasuke had been graced with looks of gods.

"Itachi!" Sasuke grinned, giving him a big hug.

"Hello Sasuke," Itachi smiled back and taking his bag, "How was your flight?"  
"It was cool." Sasuke shrugged, "Hey guess what?"

"What?" Itachi answered, unable to stop grinning like an idiot at his baby brother.

"I'm getting married."

"You're what?" Itachi blinked in shock. "Married? To who?"

"My finacee." Sasuke chuckled at his expression. "Don't worry it's nothing like my other almost marriages and I'm not going to ask you to marry us because you'll think of something for why we can't get married. Besides, I know he is the one and I don't want to lose him."

"I didn't even know you were seeing someone." Itachi said lightheaded. Sasuke was getting married? How? When? Why? Who? Where?

"Either does anyone else. The only one that knows is his brother, which took me forever to make him see Naruto and I are in love."

"What?" Itachi blinked again at the confusing information.

"There he is." Sasuke pointed toward a petite blonde walking their way. "Naruto!"

"Hey Sasuke!" Naruto shouted back. "Sorry we took so long, but Deidara couldn't find our bags. Oh you must be Itachi, you look just like Sasuke." Naruto smiled and gave him a quick hug. "It's nice to finally meet you."

"Same." Itachi got out. "So you want to marry my brother?"

"Yes!" Naruto nodded as he wrapped his arms around Sasuke's waist. "We're in love."

"Which is what you said for every person you wanted me to marry you to since you were a kid." someone else grumbled as they came up to their small circle. Itachi only blinked in shock at the gorgeous man in front of him. "First there was Shino with the bugs, which you wanted to have as guest."

"Deidara!" Naruto blushed.

"Then Sora, who was a fan of wrestling, and wanted me to marry you guys in the ring-"

"Deidara!" Naruto blushed deepened as he looked on in horror at the older blonde who didn't seem to care.

"Don't get me started on Lee." Deidara shuddered and turned to Itachi, "It took some fast thinking on my part to make sure Naruto didn't marry that green clad freak."

"Deidara! You are the worst brother alive! Why can't you be like Sasuke's?" Naruto pouted.

"Because I don't know Sasuke's brother." Deidara answered, "You must be Itachi, I'm Deidara. Ever since Naruto was a kid, he has been trying to get me to marry him off to some freak or another. He went through at least six different people-"

"Which you had to keep making excuses up for." Itachi finished wide-eyed.

"Yeah, how did you know?" Deidara frowned in confusion.

"I did the same for Sasuke." Itachi confessed with a small grin forming. "The first time he asked me to marry him off he was four-"

"Itachi!" Sasuke yelled as a blush overtook his own face. "Come on Naruto, lets go."

Ignoring their brothers walking off on them, Itachi and Deidara continued to swap stories about their younger siblings. By the time they came to the car, both of them had pretty much decided that Sasuke and Naruto were made for each other.


End file.
